The rise .. ?

 I have just finished up with my 12th grade (High school), With some minimal marks at the very edge of passing category. But my mom and my Biology teacher where so happy for me that i have scored 92/100 in the final examination of my High school. I have scored well in biology due to my affinity towards that subject and a small spark to become a Good DOC !
                                         

                                   

People around me encouraged me into studying for NEET examination (entrance exam for Med college)
during my first attempt ( 2023 )( sunday ) , I entered the exam hall with zero additional effort ... yet with my Very high knowledge i was able to secure 166 marks out of ... 720 . Yes i have cleared the exam with threshold cutt off, But i was not in a situation to get my self into any self finance college ( Private institutes) ...

And there comes the Turning point of my Life, i realised that day that, there is more to learn for NEET,

I joined ALLEN-tambaram for my NEET coaching , started to prepare in a very slow pace, made some friends over there LEARNT A LOT!, i was able to cram Biology and was able to reflect good in my Class tests but i always lagged in the part of Physics and chemistry. I made a decision to conquer both these subjects.... My GURU's ( Bhavan , Raj ) Taught me the basics in physics and some entry strategies to learn and understand them ! , From which i started to pitch in physics and in a while i was able to adapt into a more understanding person than a person who just crams the content. Soon it led to my attraction towards chemistry.. still i wasn't able to score a maximum of 500/720 during my class tests...

Time flew by ... exams was nearing everyone fell part from whom they where, i started to score less than 450/720 during the whole syllabus tests. WE felt FEAR !, the fear of loosing , loosing what ? ONE YEAR ? ,  NOPE !.. The amount of time and effort we spent over the year , the progressions , and the Money expenses ...

I wrote the exam , my 2nd attempt ( 2024 ), I was so confident that i have done it so well. i would be scoring around 650/720 , Told my MOM ! " amma the question paper is soo easy . Government seat confirm dhan" . That night i was in fear to check the answer , yet i did it .. And the mark was around 500/720. And what led to it ???.. The same thing which chased me through out the year during my class tests
 " Silly mistakes" - even my teachers used to call the king of silly mistakes

one day the results were out !, when i checked for my result it was .. 460/720 , it went down uh, why ?

"Bubble mistakes " and here comes my 2nd villain of my story.

i was so left out , The moments of hard work i put into it , The crazy types of motivations i used during my prep, the promise i made to my amma. Everything turned into Nothing.

i remembered the time when i used to motivate myself using some of the Hindi songs, where i dont even understand things. 🎵Ek zindagi (angrezi medium)
                                       🎵shaabashiyaan (mission mangal)
                                       🎵Mun sellada(manithan)
                                       🎵Dheera dheera (KGF)

I have also set my mind up that ,

Everything i built through out the year is just broken down it haven't dissapeared .

So i convinced to my Father and Mother and my Biology teacher that in my 3rd attempt i would make it into not a state.gov college but i will enter a central.gov college (AIIMS,JIPMER) (tier 1 college), and again I started my journey from scratch but in ALLEN-ashoknagar , it was way long from my home so i was adviced to get into a PG nearby .. I was doing so well from the begining , i was constantly able to maintain my score above 650/720 during my class tests . I was even recognized well by every staff  due to late night study in my class room . ( I spent daily 12 hours in ) after getting back to PG , sleep ? Hahah NOPE !, i will solve multiple Special edition books from the topics which are not even started in my classes@ALLEN . Everything was going so well i had my peak mark as 690/720 and lowest as 649/720.yet average was @670/720. As a matter of i had a set of guys to whom i returned the favour my GURU's ( Bhavan, Raj ) did to me, and i teached my ways to them i brought them UP trained them like a warrior!

Until i was wondering im not getting 720 even though i am capable of , which led me into a mental pressure within me ... where i found the same problem i  faced from the previous years

 " Silly mistake" - ah shit here we go again
I was angry on myself on not being able to solve that issue(tried multiple ways) , distrubed my Mental peace. i was able to see that the ' Tall building i built started to shake ' , before taking proper measure ... One piece fell down ....

I scored 551/720 in my class test, Biology (a cramming subject), i wasn't able to focus during exam . which weakened me very much , i started bunking class siting in my PG-Room , with no clue and stuck somewhere, and in 1 month I lost everything i had built..


vacated my room returned back to home , claiming i am going to start self studying ( i had no nerves to tell my parents the Truth ).. I tried myself to bring back me up ... tried .. tried..There were no tearless nights.

In a while NEET exam registration opened , And i didn't even register to it . And didn't write my NEET exam - attempt 3 (2025)
                

                                  


            "The SKY over my head was DARK , but i was the one who killed the SUN"